In the 3rd grade, I memorized every word to Kelly Clarkson’s, Miss Independent. She sang about a woman who was, you guessed it, independent but loses that independence in a relationship, and I sang it too. I saw my future before me, even then. I would work hard to figure out who I was and […]

Can I tell you a secret? I don’t really know where this is going. Not because I have nothing to say. It’s the opposite. I have an abundance of questions and thoughts swimming around in the dome, but nothing feels solid or fully formed. I guess this will be an experiment then, to see if […]

You’re not going to believe this. Or, maybe you will. Last week I threw two rotten pears in the trash. Again. Horrifying, wasteful, a beacon of my failure in pursuit of living a cleaner life. We started cleaning together months ago, remember? And the very first thing we threw away was a pair of pears. […]

If I called my mother right now, and said, “You’ll never guess what happened the other day,” she would hang her head in her hands and say, “Oh no, Bridge.” The reason being? I embarrass myself constantly. Well no, maybe that’s the wrong way to say it. I do things that probably should be perceived […]

When Trash Day falls on a major commercial holiday, I am morally obligated to tell you every single opinion and thought I have ever had on the topic. Currently, I’m typing this from airspace somewhere between Atlanta and Dallas and I have to say, the Valentine’s Day energy in this plane is lackluster. I do […]

Once upon a time…on days dark, stormy, and sunny alike, trash bins were rolled to the ends of driveways and men on metal steads came and took away all our shit. I mean, rubbish. Or like, excrement. Just read the sentence again and then replace *shit* with any medieval equivalent you fancy. Dealer’s choice. As […]

Not to be overly vulnerable with you (anonymous reader), but I shed, like, a lot. So much so that a “why is my hair falling out” google search has in fact graced my browser of choice (bing, obviously). Has the thickness of my hair changed? Not really. Am I worried about all the hair that […]

Midnight. Not the Taylor Swift kind where it’s full of introspection and creative genius. No, I’m talking about real, mid-week, monotonous, midnights. Where I lost track of time and am suddenly brushing my teeth under bathroom lights and tallying up the maximum hours of sleep I can get if I go to bed right now. […]

When I run through my invader escape plan as I fall asleep at night, I consider how far and how fast I could run away in a chase/kidnapper scenario. Unfortunately, the conclusion I have reached is that it’s not far and not very fast. I could blame this on short legs or being out-of-shape but […]

I am absolutely the target audience when it comes to pop culture. I love it. I eat it up. I must know all the gossip and drama of celebrities, influencers, actors, musicians. It really is some convoluted version of a hobby. And the best part about it? I get to participate in this (toxic) hobby […]